Toxic masculinity has become almost entirely a discussion of aesthetics, in which case I think toxic femininity is more worthwhile as a discussion - the kind of toxicity that seeps under your skin and causes you to perform in adherence to strict beauty regimes, shaving and waxing and getting hair treatments and expensive skin care and dieting and wearing shoes that hurt you (and can hurt you permanently) and hurting/deforming your body and getting injections to erase signs of aging or to plump up your lip size and bring unable to go to the corner store without makeup on and so on and so on.. My point is that 1. Toxic masculinity has lost its initial critique and has become about aesthetics wherein a man who is willing to dress somewhat femininely cannot possibly exhibit toxic behavior and 2. Is (heteropatriarchal, white supremacist, thin-idealist) femininity really something to put on a pedestal in contrast to this aesthetic of ‘toxic’ masculinity? This is how people come to believe butches carry ideals of toxic masculinity because we like to fix cars and wear flannel while Straight Man #1747936 can wear a single earring and get away with astounding levels of misogyny