That landed for me

Cromwell’s brand of Puritanism is also where America’s prosperity gospel hails from, in addition to the Puritans being at least partially responsible for the British leg of the Transatlantic Slave Trade if memory serves.

Also, fun fact, the Pilgrim’s trip to America was actually funded by corporations in Europe, with the understanding that the companies would provide the settlers with ships and supplies, and in exchange the puritans would build a trading settlement and send back X-amount of whatever interesting crops or materials they find/grow as a return on their investment. Again, hardly the tale of a group of honest religious folk fleeing prosperity in a new land.

Similarly, the fact that the Pilgrims moved into an area that had been left depopulated due to a pandemic that had swept the continent (meaning many found crops already planted, homes already built, and graves full of “treasure” like grave goods to steal...) doesn’t get into the narrative either.

Likewise the amount of people sent to America who were indentured servants, criminals, and random homeless people that were rounded up and sent over seas (the idea being the urban poor would be able to find a better, more profitable life growing crops for some rich plantation owner in Carolina than they would living in Southwark)... This likewise didn’t work, as they rarely had the knowledge, experience or desire to become a farmer in a land thousands of miles away, hence why many of them realised that if they just used kidnapped people to do the work instead they could make money while not doing any manual labour.

All of this is 100% true. Another example of rewriting history to make it palatable that has been taught to young children basically since public schools were founded is the Thanksgiving Day story.

What we are taught: the pilgrims came to America to escape the Evil Evil Church of England, and they were starving! And winter was coming! But there was a native american named Squanto who worked hard and learned english, then introduced the pilgrims to his tribe. They all became friends and threw a big celebration feast and they lived happily ever after. The end.

What really happened: Squanto had been a slave in England, was set aboard a vessel to the Americas in order to help capture more native americans and force them into slavery, but escaped when he got there. He made his way back to the village he grew up in only to find that the entire population had been wiped out by either slavers or smallpox.

Since survival had a lot to do with relying on a community, when a ship full of pilgrims arrived he became friends with them - by speaking the English he was taught while a slave. He took them to the (now empty) village, and showed them how to tend the crops that were already growing. The shelter was already build. There was already stored food, and he showed them how to get more. Then he negotiated peace between the settlers and the Wampanoags. Then, yes, there was a feast to celebrate the peace.

One time. With one small group of pilgrims, the Wampanoags, and Squanto.

Meanwhile, the Puritans were busy coming to America in boatloads. Their entire goal was to take land and resources, capture young, healthy men and women as slaves, and kill everybody else. The second "Day of Thanksgiving" was a celebration of the massacre and capture of over 700 Pequot tribe members. All ages and genders. More were celebrated later for similar reasons.

So it went until Abraham Lincoln declared Thanksgiving Day to be a national holiday, and the "official" story was spread across the US in an effort to bring people from the northern and southern states together.... on the same day he ordered the military to march against the Sioux.

Womp womp.

Happy Thanksgiving, America....

Tisquantum (Squanto) was kidnapped by the English but sold in Spain where he was bought by a group of monks. He worked his way to England so he could eventually catch a ship to present-day Canada. He then traveled south to his home, where his village had been wiped out by smallpox, and he found the Puritans living there. He was a total badass who determined to gain power in the region and considered them another tribe to use as an ally.

Tisquantum was a soldier, not a farmer, and he taught the Puritans planting techniques he apparently learned in France, where burying rotting food with seed was a fairly common technique. It was not a native practice. He was smart as shit, and he used allies around the region to build his power and establish his own community. We don’t know his actual name— Tisquantum was apparently something he called himself after he got back home, loosely translated as “your worst nightmare,” or “demon from hell.” The Puritans apparently never knew why he spoke English or that he had traveled the world more extensively than any of them.

And the Puritans were weird as fuck. The more that arrived in America the weirder they got. They regulated EVERYTHING. They straight-up killed Quakers or ppl of other religions that moved in nearby. They had bizarre burial practices and would hold kids up against the edge of graves at funerals to know death. It was illegal for Puritan men to live alone without a family; they’d assign one to stay with if they didn’t have their own. Dress codes were enforced by law. Theater, music & gambling were banned. They didn’t laugh or show any affection in public. Long hair was illegal. They hated Christmas, and considered any sort of feast to be a Satanic practice. Not going to church would get you fined, whipped, held in the stocks, tarred & feathered, have your ears cut off, or be burned. So yeah these weirdos probably still have a lot of cultural influence today.

As usual, the real story is probably way more interesting than the fake one.